Ah, Ssibal nom~

Fucking school. Fucking teachers. Fucking day!
I start off the day with everyone staring at me because the rest of my classmates were dancing and I was the only girl that didn't dance. ( o_o)
Then our Chemistry teacher starts off normal but in the middle of the class she gets mad at one student and the next thing you know she starts to get mad at all of us. WTF?! Then there's our Geometry teacher. In her case, I can understand because we were very noisy. But then here comes our Trigonometry teacher. Fucking shit~ From the first day of classes she told us to always bring calculator or not to come to her class at all. But today she asks us, "why did you bring calculators?" . HAHAHA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
But most of all that really pissed me off was when one of my close friends asked me about an American song that I could not relate to. She then told me, "Puro kasi KPOP ehh." [all you listen to is KPOP] .. I mean WTF?! I wouldn't care less if I was the only one in our classroom to listen to KPOP. But she really got on my nerves!! She's new so I didn't react or say anything. But that really annoyed me. (¬_¬")
UGHH~ Fucking shitt~

But on the bright side. Sarah called me today and she sang me a Korean Birthday song. It was too early for her to sing to me a Birthday Song. But hey, it's the thought that counts. iLoveAndMissYou~~

[s] (>^.^)> ♥ <(^.^<) [m]
.
(I have to go somewhere .. bye~) (^_^)/~~ ♥ <(^.^<)
.
(went somewhere far away) [broken.hearted] (?_?) (what??)
.
(went somewhere far away) [broken.hearted] (>_<) (nooo!)
.
(in somewhere far away) [broken.hearted] (T_T) (this isn't worth it~)
.
(I'm back. Did you miss me?) (^_^) [broken.hearted] (o_O) (you came back~)
.
(Of course. Give me a hug~) (>^_^)> ♥ *(^o^)* (YEYY!)
.
[s] (>^.^)> ♥ <(^.^<) [m]

yeah~ I'm that bored.. I want this to happen. We're still in the part where the emoticon is saying 'this isn't worth it'. *siigh*


~Heechul's Baby~

Total want~

Aishh~
[ cute? Hahaha. I got that one from Kyuhyun of Super Junior. ㅋㅋㅋ.]
It's almost my birthday. What I really want from my birthday are :
◘ ice cream [of course my favorite flavor from Baskin Robbins] (I just ate ice cream a while ago. So starting now until my birthday, I will NOT eat any type of sweets. AJA! ㅋㅋㅋ.) ;
◘ pink ballpen ;
◘ pink watch [just like the watch Sungmin was wearing at Episode 6 of Mystery 6] ;
◘ small diary [so that I can put all my Korean notes there. ㅋㅋㅋ. It will be like my small Korean Dictionary. Hahaha] ;
◘ pink ribbon [just like the one Heechul.Boyfriend was wearing in a live performance of No Other. I forgot the date. Ugh~ What kind of a girlfriend am I? HAHAHA!] ;
◘ a small Bible [like a portable Bible. The one that has 'summarized' notes / lessons so that I could carry it with me around] ;
◘ a poster of my Heechul.Boyfriend [for obvious reasons. ㅋㅋㅋ.]
◘ new USB [so I could have more room to put in some random stuff I download out of the internet] ;
◘ But most important .. That only one person can give .. Sarah Consehal's presence. I really, really want her her to greet me in person but I'm scared that her parents might not let her come to our school. Even though I uber want this, she is also human. She gets tired too. I don't want her to waste her time just to say 'Happy Birthday Bebe' in person when she can just do it on the Internet. *siigh* iMissYou~

All of them .. And I mean all of them I really want. ㅋㅋㅋ. But hey, I'm not choosy. A simple hug or greet can make my day.

~Heechul's Baby~

I don't think I want to~

*siigh*
There's an assembly tomorrow and my parents didn't allow me to go to my friend's hoouse for practice. Ughh~ I will definitely NOT dance tomorrow. I don't care if I would be the odd one out. It's better that way than me going in front yet not knowing the dance steps.
And another thing why I don't want to go to school tomorrow is because I don't want to share my 'experiences' about "love" in front of the class.
But I don't have a choice~
Omonaaa!

~Heechul's Baby~

I'm done!~

엉터리~
That was so damn scary! But it's a good thing I've finished Mystery 6. I'm so happy. ㅋㅋㅋ. I laughed out loud when Siwon and my Heechul.Boyfriend had a conversation :

Heechul : The issue about this ghost has been resolved.
How do you feel about it?
Siwon : It's really over now.
Heechul : Do you believe in ghosts?
Siwon : Me, I believe in ghosts. But I'm not scared of them.
Heechul : Then how can we not feel scared?
Siwon : Go to church.
Heechul : Ah, again with the church.
Leeteuk : Amen!

ㅋㅋㅋ. My Heechul.Boyfriend is an atheist meaning he doesn't believe in any God but that doesn't make me love him any less. Of course I pray for him. I rarely pray every night now. I'm just too lazy. So bad! ㅋㅋㅋ. I don't know why but everytime I pray for the well-being of my Heechul.Boyfriend, I shed a few tears. Ah, I just feel sad. Who wouldn't be? Even the first time I heard this news from Sarah Consehal, I cried for three days straight. Even in school I cried but my two bestfriends didn't care and just laughed about it. Curse them. That's just how much I love my Heechul.Boyfriend. ㅋㅋㅋ.
Anyways with Mystery 6, I was so shocked to see the ghost again. Damn it. ㅋㅋㅋ. But anyways it's only a mockumentary meaning it's only 10% true and 90% scripted. ㅋㅋㅋ. If it was real then I will not watch this. Donghae had to go throught much in this mockumentary. At least he's safe. ㅋㅋㅋ.
For now, I will start to watch Super Junior : EHB! I am now in the third episode. FIGHITNG!

~Heechul's Baby~

Mystery 6~

omonaa~
I'm in the last episode of Super Junior's Mystery 6! I'm so happy and scared at the same time! ㅋㅋㅋ. Poor Ryeowook. He's been locked inside the bathroom. Poor him. Although, Sungmin looks so uber cute when he's worried about Ryeowook! ㅋㅋㅋ. So adorable! And Sungmin was wearing a pink watch that time. So cuute! Omonaa~ I think I want a pink watch too! ㅋㅋㅋ. Going to continue watching. In part 2/4 already~

~Heechul's Baby~

Big Bang~

iMissYouGuys!

Big Bang! When are you going to make your comeback? iMissYouGuysSoMuch!
I just heard their song 'Beautiful Hangover' this morning and I have to say, it's pretty catchy. Ever since I 'let go' of Taeyang because I 'found' Heechul (ㅋㅋㅋ) I haven't had any news / updates about Big Bang, besides from my Bestfriend. But honestly, I miss them so much already. Especially Seungri.Maknae! Hurry up! Make a comeback!

~Heechul's Baby~

Heart Attack?~

Heart attack? Well, I almost did! LOLL~
I'm now in Episode 5 of Mystery 6 by Super Junior. And Sungmin and Siwon's re-enactment of their experience is scaring the fucking shit outta me! DAMNNN!!
Although .. Sungmin looks so cute in his re-enactment. :"> Hahaha. Damnn!

~Heechul's Baby~

Mystery 6~

Have been watching Super Junior's Mystery 6 since 9 o'clock in the morning. And now .. It's almost 12:00. ㅋㅋㅋ. I am really scared now but then I just ignore it for Super Junior! LOLL~ ㅋㅋㅋ. I am now watching Episode 4 out of 6 Episodes. Fighting! ㅋㅋㅋ. Poor Sungmin in the Third Episode. That's it. Gonna continue watching! Good luck to me tonight before sleeping! ㅋㅋㅋ.

~Heechul's Baby~

Isa kang perfect combination~

Grabe~
Grabeng grabe ka! Bulag ka na nga .. Manhid ka pa. Ano pa ang hihingin ko sa iba? Lintek kang gago ka!! Hindi mo lang kasi alam kung ano nararamdaman ko ehh. Sayang na sayang yung mga luha ko. Sayang yung mga times na iniyakan kita .. Sayang at ikaw ang minahal ko.
Ang saya .. grabe!

~Heechul's Baby~

Seriously??~

UGHH~
Fucking shit men! I seriously don't want another problem .. But here is one now! BULLSHIT!
Gonna watch SuJu : EHB instead to calm me down. Fucking shit. UGHHHH!

~Heechul's Baby~

I GIVE THE FUCK UP!

I wouldn't mind if someone shot me straight in the head right now!! I am fucking tired and I am fucking sick of this. FUCK SHIT!
FUCKING SHIT!

~Heechul's Baby~

DAMN.IT!

FUCKSHIT!
I forgot my ring today! UGHHH!! I was really not in the mood today. Damn! It's the third time I forgot my ring. First was the time when I 'purposely' left it at home. Second and third .. Well, I really forgot. ㅋㅋㅋㅋ. But the mood changed when I got to spend a little quality time with my bestfriend. We laughed about some stuff but the mood still stayed. It stayed 'till the rest of the day.

I'm currently at home now. And I am researching for projects, looking at SuJu member's tweets (ㅋㅋㅋㅋ) , and watching Mystery 6 [episode 1 - Black Eyes]. I'm still in part one of four but still .. It is scaring the fucking.shit out of me! ㅋㅋㅋㅋ. Omygad! It's almost August .. Which means I have to change my "Heechul's Baby" to something else. I don't know what to change it to. *siigh*

~Heechul's Baby~

Damn~ Haha!

Damn it~
I felt really sad when I found out Han Geng was leaving Super Junior. Too bad, he was really cute! Haha~ And since Han Geng is the only Super Junior member from China, it seems as if somebody says the word 'China' or anything related to China I feel a little down. It was about the second week of school when it started. And until now I still have the same reaction. The difference is that when it started on the second week of school, I only had 2 of my bestfriends "teasing" me, telling me "What? China?". Hahaha~ But now I have FOUR of them! Omygad! LOLL~ And everytime one of them starts teasing me, the rest of them follows~ Hahahah!
I can't say I don't like it. HELL~ I love it! I have tons of attention from them! LOLL~
Sometimes it gets annoying though. But mostly it's fun because they think of other ways to tease me. One of them uses "China", the other "Chopsticks", the other "Little Red Book" while the other one uses "The Great Wall of China". Ahaha! I love them. So much attention! LOLL~

~Heechul's Baby~

New hair?~

omygoshh~
My first day with my new haircut? It went like this, I was going to my classroom with my face covered with my handkerchief. Heading up the stairs, I looked up and saw Donna (my savior .. HAHA!) I went IMMEDIATELY to her side! Hahaha! Then I gave her my bag and my project and told her to place it on my table. Then some of my friends saw me and I waited for Donna to get out of my classroom and I told her, "Run! Head to the bathroom!". Haha! We hid there until the assembly. I told her,"OMG! My hair is so short. It doesn't look like Taemin's hair. It looks like Heechul's hairr~" We only went out when the assembly started. After the assembly finished, I headed to the classroom and I hid my face yet again. Haha. Donna left me because she wasn't in the same classroom as I am.
Overall : The day went slightly normal.
The best compliment I heard about my hair was from Mallory Cuasay. She told me "Wow, Ate Monique. Your hair is so short. But it's ok! You look like Taemin."
on the inside AND outside I was like : YESS!
Hahaha~


~Heechul's Baby~

Come on!

Really?!~
I showed the lady who was supposed to cut my hair the picture of the hairstyle I wanted.

I showed her this :

Lee Taemin

But I ended up looking like this :

Kim Heechul

Don't get me wrong, I love my Heechul.Boyfriend. But come on~ My hair is just too short! omygoshh~
Come on hair! GROWW!



~Heechul's Baby~

Take me away~

Been crying for a good 15 minutes now~
It all started when she told me she wanted to die because of her suitor. I think her suitor is ill. Then I told her to take me with her if she's going to die. She kept telling me to stay and fulfill my dreams. But what's the use if I fulfill my dreams and she's not there cheering for me? What's the use?
Heechul~ take me away..please

~Heechul's Baby~

No more drama please~

*siigh* ~
For the last few days, "x" seemed really really quiet. It didn't bother me at all because I just thought he wanted to be "a good boy". I guess I was wrong.
This dismissal Hez (my friend) told me to come with him to my classroom. I said ok but then my bestfriend wanted me to go with her so I told Hez to wait at the classroom. After I went with my bestfriend I immediately went upstairs to my classroom. I saw Hez and "x" having a conversation. "x" was still finishing his project, he looked like he needed help so me and Hez helped him. While I was helping him he still looked down. So I started a conversation.
Me : "x", why do you seem so sad this past few days?
"x" : Oh~ You noticed huh?
Me : Yeah~ What happened?
"x" : It all started when your bestfriend dumped me.
Me : Oh yeah. I remember. *fake smile* Don't worry "x", there are other girls around. *on the inside : SHIT! He might think I'm making a move!* I mean .. There's still that girl you like in the Philippines.
"x" : Yeah. HAHA! I don't know what she saw in me.
*on the inside : I bet I know what she liked in you.*
Me : Haha~ *I kept looking at his eyes. And I noticed that there was no more shine in his eyes, so I asked him* What did you do to your eyes? They aren't as shiny as before.
"x" : My eyes are shiny?
Me : Yeah. They're so shiny back then. When you were happy.
"x" : Yeah. When I was happy. People change. And people have problems.
*on the inside : SHIT~ My heart's breaking... Change? But .. I don't want you to change*
"x" : What about you? You always seemed sad too. Why?
Me : Same. I have problems too. *I then finished my part of the project that I was helping him with. Then I pretended that my service was there*
Me : Bye.
"x" : Bye. Be careful on the way out. You might slip.
Me : yeah~ You too. *I said it in a very hushed tone then I faked a smile*
Damn it! I don't want to be part of this drama ever again! Heechul .. Come and take me away!

~Heechul's Baby~

Lucifer~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dww9UjJ4Dt8
copy - paste
that's the link for SHINee's new Music Video
Lucifer
No .. I am not a SHINee World ~
I just really like Taemin's hair!
I love it so much I showed his hairstyle to my mom
then she said "Take a picture. We'll go to the
salon on Friday."
It's kinda scary / creepy singing along to this song.
With me being a Christian, Lucifer is the "bad thing".
At first I only knew that Lucifer is bad. But when I searched that
name on the Internet..Damn! So creepy~ But anyways,
God knows that when I speak of 'Lucifer' I am referring to the song.

Support SHINee! ^_~

~Heechul's Baby~

ELF~

PROM15E TO LOVE THEM. BEL13VE IN THEM. 10VE THE REMAINING TEN AND PROT3CT THE MISSING THREE.

~Heechul's Baby~

Damn~

Damn~
My bestfriend told me earlier this morning that she was addicted to No Other by Super Junior. Of course, me being an ELF, that made me proud. Before the teacher came in my bestfriend came closer to my table then she told me, "OMG! I'm so addicted to No Other! No offense but .. I don't like the blonde guy making a card with a heart," , in my mind it was like 'SHIT! She's talking about Heechul .. my boyfriend!'. After I realized that I told her to go back to her seat.
I snobbed her (jokingly) for 3 periods straight. But when break came she told that she was sorry and that she was only telling the truth. Of course I forgave her. Haha~
Like I said, if people I am not very close to or my bestfriends would insult Heechul (my boyfriend) it would be as if I didn't hear anything. But that irritating girl is one BIG exception.

~Heechul's Baby~

So far so great~

So far so great~
So far "x" seems to take the fact that my bestfriend dumped him pretty good. He seems normal .. And alive! Haha. Today was great. No wounds were re-opened. And the scars seem to heal pretty fast and painless. I hope this continues.

~Heechul's Baby~

Happy Birthday Taemin~

Lee Taemin

I'm not a SHINee World but it's still his birthday~
LOLL~
I think he is 18 in Korean age.
Which makes him 17 in the international age.
Anyways .. Happy Birthday to Taemin of
SHINee
More Birthdays to come~

And yes .. I want his hair! LOLL~

~Heechul's Baby~

I don't know what to expect~

ughh~
I thought this was going to be a normal school day. I thought that I would get to move on about my fucking feelings for "x" and continue to 'like' my new crush.
The day went so damn great until break time. My bestfriend had a misunderstanding with her boyfriend. Because of the misunderstanding, we had to leave them outside our classroom to talk about their problem. I went into our room and sat near my other bestfriend and "x". Then my bestfriend starts the conversation ..
Bestfriend : Hi Nique!
Me : Hi 'bestfriend' !
"x" : Hi Nique!
Me : *smile and slight nod*
"x" : Heyy .. I read about your blog?
Me : *freaking out on the inside* My blog?! What?! *faces bestfriends way* Blog? My blog? And how did he find out?
*bestfriend is kinda speechless*
Me : Ughh~ I suddenly don't like it here! *stands up and places bottle of water and wallet on table then erases the whiteboard like crazy*
Bestfriend : Nique! Come on~
*ignores, then let's out a loud "UGHH!!" and sits on own place ; "x" comes closer*
"x" : Hey Nique~ Are you ok?
Me : Yeah. I'm fine. Go away~
"x" : You don't seem fine. Are you mad with your bestfriend? Are you mad with me?
Me : I don't wanna answer that. Just leave me alone.
"x" : So it's true then?
Me : I don't want to answer that. Just go, please.
*he leaves me alone and I start to weep silently in the corner, then my close friend taps me on the shoulder*
Close Friend : Are you ok?
*I look at her with slight tears falling*
Me : Yeah, I'm fine. Can you get Bestfriend to come sit near me?
My Close Friend calls me bestfriend and then we talk about what just happened. She later on told me that I need time for myself. She told me that my life should not revolve on my friends. Then she brought up the topic about not giving "x" a chance to court her. DAMN! I told her not to.
But she still did it in the end. I don't blame her. After all, it is her life and she doesn't want "x" to hope for nothing. Tss~
I wonder what will happen tomorrow?

Heechul!!! Come and save me from this nightmare! Take me to South Korea!! I don't want to be here anymore~ Only 4 people can truly make me happy. Number 1 is God. Another one of them is you. The other is my bestfriend from another school, then my bestfriend from another class~ *siigh* This is not worth it.

~Heechul's Baby~

If you're not the one~

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield

It's such a beautiful song. Even if it's old, it's very meaningful.

~Heechul's Baby~

Don't let it be~

omygad~
I think I just made a huge mistake.
My bestfriend and I chatted a while ago, she asked me if I was ok. I replied, "I'm a little bit ok." She then asked me, "Just a little bit? Why is that?". Then I told her that I just had a lot going on. Then she realizes the reason. She suddenly types in, "Is it about "x"?". I kinda thought for a while then I told her, " "x"?? I already have a new crush. Remember? It's ______.". She then told me, "Seriously? Come on. I know you better than this.". I told her that it was true,I 'like' my new crush. Then I told her that I would love see them happy together as a couple even if it's painful for me to even think about it. She then told me, "What if I don't like him? Because of you." , "Me?" I asked. She then replied "Yes you. I know that somehow you cannot get "x" off your heart.". The rest of the conversation is a blur to me.
I don't want her to not give "x" a chance to court her. Hell~ I'd rather weep the whole day than seeing "x" broken hearted. I want them to be together. I don't want "x" to be heartbroken. I don't want my bestfriend to be his heartbreaker. Omygad~ I don't think I can take anymore of this drama. *siigh*

~Heechul's Baby~

Best Actress~

Kim Heechul : Left ; Kim Kibum : Right

rawrr!
I am very irritated with one of my "bestfriend" at school. Ughh~
Last week, Donna 'introduced' Super Junior to my "bestfriend". She told Donna that she likes Kibum [seriously? :))] and she thinks that Heechul [yes,Heechul .. My Baby .. LOLL~] looks ugly. At first, it was ok. After all everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
I was kinda joking around, telling her that Kibum sucks and Heechul looks damn handsome. Then she took it seriously and told me 'whatever' then she rolled her eyes at me. Like WTF?! That was really irritating! I was only joking around then she takes it seriously. FUCK! She should have known that I was only joking since she was my bestfriend. FUCK! Even now that I am telling this story I still feel irritated.
When other people tell me "OMG! That's Heechul? He's ugly~" , it's acceptable for me because it's either the person who said that is not that close to me. For instance Mallory, who is a SHINee World told me that "OMG! Is that Heechul? Omygosh, he looks gay.". It really didn't affect me in any way. Or it could be that we are so close that any kind of insult to Heechul is ok. For another instance Sarah Consehal, she kept telling me on and on and on "It's true! Heechuls is so ugly!". I just laugh it out. LOLL~ But with her? I don't know, maybe it's because she "possesses" me to much. I need air too! Haha~
Since last week until today I ignored her. I just really felt insulted and irritated about what she said. But if she would be the one who would start the conversation I 'act' as if I have something going on and stay quiet. Haha~ I'm such a meanie! I should recieve a best actress anytime soon. LOLL~ Serves her right for dissing on my Baby. Hmp!

~Heechul's Baby~

Moving on~

ouch~
This morning "x" was annoying my bestfriend. He continously kept asking her the same question until the last period, "Can I court you?". Before the first teacher came, I sat near them both. Then "x" and I had a little conversation, and it went a little like this :
"x" : Hi Nique!
Me : Hi~
"x" : Who's your new crush?
Me : [on the inside] New crush? There's no new crush. It's always been you. [on the outside] Secret~
"x" : Oh really? Is it still me?
Me : What?! No!
"x" : Really~? Are you sure?
Me : Yeah!
"x" : Come on~ Tell me who he is.
Me : He's just in this room.
"x" : Is it ______?
Me : Yeah. Be quiet. Don't tell him. [on the inside] Ok then. He's my new crush. I'll pretend to like him. Maybe my feelings will develop for him.
"x" : Then it's not me? Yes~ I can court your bestfriend with ease now.
Me : Haha! Yeah! Good luck~
Then the teacher came in. I kept looking at my 'new crush' trying to take in his 'good looks'. Although, I still can't resist looking at "x". It kinda breaks my heart how he "flirts" with my bestfriend, and how he gets jealous when my bestfriend talks to her crush.
I'll try to like my 'new crush'. It won't be easy but I will try. And heck! I will succeed.

That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

Hope? ~

*siigh*
If you would ask me "What is hope?" , I would just sit and stare as if I didn't hear anything.
I couldn't answer that because I am slowly losing this so-called Hope.
I want to give up right now, I really do. But I have no choice. I'll just bear with it until I can find something / someone who could show me the meaning of hope.

That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

Reset~

The song Reset by Super Junior means a lot to me right now.
It is a Korean song but the English translation is really touching.
To summarize it all up : It's a sad song.
The guy and the girl broke up and the guy wants her back.
Thus the reason for the title ..
Reset
The guy is really sorry for the stuff he has done wrong to the girl,
He regrets it so bad and wishes for a Reset button.
He remembers everything from the first day they met ..
To the last thing they did together.
It kinda relates to me. So, for now, Reset will be the theme song of my 'Love Life'.


That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

My wish will soon be granted~

tss~
"x" now has "deep" feelings for my bestfriend. I'm not going to stop that. After all, if she would be the one to make him happy. Then I'll let it be. I just hope she doesn't break his heart.
He will be courting her. He is courting her. I just hope he succeeds. I want him out of my heart! I don't care whether I would get hurt or not, I just want him out of this thing inside my chest.
My wish will soon be granted. By the time she would answer him. This feeling will be gone.
I want a reset button!

That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

That's the sound of my heart breaking~

Before that .. I just wanna say .. I'm so uber happy because my fake girlfriend had her first boyfriend! They are each other's first. And I hope they will be each other's last.

Hey .. Don't get me wrong .. I'm not a lesbian~ Haha!

Ok~
My heart is broken down into tiny little pieces. I have been crushin' on "x" for quite some time now. He knows I have a crush on him. And today, I found out he likes my bestfriend. At first it was painful but that's ok. After all "x" only likes her.
But no~
During our break, "x" told me "Nique! You have to help me with something, ok?" . Of course I said yes. When I got back from the canteen, I sat next to him then he told me "Can you help me become your bestfriend's boyfriend?". DAMN.IT! My reaction from the outside was "Yeah sure!", but on the inside "BULLSH*T!! OMYGADDD~ I'm dying .."
I mean can you imagine? Your crush has a crush on your bestfriend. And now, your crush looks you in the eye and asks you to be their "bridge". Damn~
Of course I will help him. If that is what would make him happy, then ok. I'll do it.
Hell~ I should get a best actress award for acting that nothing is wrong. I really deserve it.

That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

Why do you have to be this way? ~

ughh~
"x" .. There is one thing I really, really, REALLY want to say to you .. F**K YOU!
Yeah that's right! I want to cuss you, I wanna slap you, I wanna see you hit your head against the wall. I seriously want to see you to get hurt. But not in a way that it could be fatal. Nothing like that.
Today, the teachers decided to segregate us. I think it's because of the papers that the MOE signed was not yet with the principal. So the guys left and us girls were like "ok". Haha! It is as if we didn't care about our boys.
We then had three subjects then we had our break.
I saw "x" and his friend and they only noticed my bestfriend. I felt a bit jealous. I mean , COME ON! I was right in front of them. But still, no 'hi' or whatsoever. It kinda ruined my day for a bit.
By the end of the day .. "x" talked to me. I was not expecting that. HAHA! But he suddenly approached me and well .. We had a conversation.
After that, my driver was calling me so I told him ..
Me : Oh~ I got to go. Bye~ :)
"x" : Oh ok. Bye. Take care :)
Me : ughh! Don't say that.
"x" : HUH?! Ok then. Don't take care!
Me : That's much better. Haha!
Then my friend gives me my iPod back.
"x" : AWW! That's so cute.
Me : Don't~
"x" : HAHAHA! Ok, ok! Bye, bye. :)
Me : Bye~ :)
So I said goodbye to all of my friends and went home.
DAMN.IT!! I can't believe "x" is like this! UGHH! I am totally falling for him. BUT .. He's my friend. I want this "falling" thing to stop! As in right now! UGHHH~ I really DNW these feelings.

That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

Whyyyy?!

ughhh~
Ok .. So "x" knows I have a crush on him. But .. UGHH! He's so different from other guys I have said the line "I have a crush on you."
The other guys? Tss .. They told me the same line over and over again .. "It's only natural." , "I won't ignore you after this." , "I won't change.". Heck , if I had a dollar for everytime a guy said that to me. I'd be rolling in money~
But for "x" , it's different. Very different. When he told me "It's only natural." , he kept talking to me. When he told me "I won't ignore you after this." , he didn't ignore me. When he told me "I won't change." , he didn't change. He was still the same guy I had a crush on.
But .. DAMN.IT! He is my F*CKING friend! I seriously don't want to continue to have a crush on him~ NOOOOOO!

That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEECHUL ~

OMYGAD!
It's Kim Heechul / Heechul / Heenim's Birthday!
It's officially July 10 on our side of the globe ..
So ..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
My baby's growing up so fast!
*I know he loves me .. and I love him more!*
LOLL~
He is currently 27 internationally
Yet he is 28 in Korean Age.
Yes .. That's right, my baby's twenty seven already.
But nevertheless .. I still love him ..
I wish him all the best!
SARANGHAE ~ ♥

That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

Out of all SuJu members .. Why Ryeowook?~

Me and Sarah O. Consehal are always chatting. It was like our daily routine. And part of her routine is forcing me to Ryeowook. *yes .. Ryeowook is the one that you can see in the picture* I do not remember where or when or why she started to "force" Ryeowook to me. But she just did. Ahahaha~
It's not that I hate him. I just don't like him that much. I don't know why .. But maybe it has something to do with his voice and his movements in a live concert. Haha~
I currently have 5 biased members in Super Junior (Yesung; Sungmin; Kyuhyun; papa.Leeteuk; Heechul) And it is certainly not in my plans to add Ryeowook to that list. Ahahaha~

That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

Proud ELF~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnMoDDbEccE
Copy paste the link~ .. It's the link for
Super Junior's new AWESOME Music Video ..
"No Other"
My Biases look so damn HoTT
in this Music Video!
Sungmin ; Yesung ; Heechul ; Kyuhyun
Siwon; and papa.Leeteuk look so damn
ADORABLE!
Too bad I cannot feel the same way about
Ryeowook~ haha~
Don't get me wrong .. I do not hate Ryeowook
It's just that .. I like him much much less
than the other members~ LOLL~
BTW .. Eunhyuk's blonde hair is kinda looking
HoTT on him~ Looks so damn fine half-naked~
AHAHAHAHA~ LOLL~

Super Junior FIGHTING!

That's it for now~

~Heechul's Baby~

OMG! WHYY?! ~

DAMN.IT!
I blogged yesterday that "x" texted me. And he told me that he would talk to me.
Damn~ I always told myself "he won't talk to me" over and over and over again in my head! I really didn't want to talk to him. 'Coz it might develop my crush for him~ DO.NOT.ABSOLUTELY.WANT!!
So I went to school. [duhh~ I won't be absent just for him] And still felt a bit jealous so I looked like I have a heavy heavy weight on my shoulders.
I went to sit over at my bestfriend's table. Yes, I sat on her table. It would be kinda rude if I would get her off her seat just for me to sit right? [LOLL~]
My bestfriend's seat was at the very front of the class. Behind her was my other bestfriend and "x" was sitting next to her. "x" kept asking me "are you ok?" then I was all snobby. [HAHAHA~] Then the teacher came in.
When I was in my original seat my close friend who was the new student asked me if I was ok. I said yes then we had our lesson. When the teacher looked over at "x" 's side of the room because of a certain chart, I saw him kinda "catching my sight" then when I "accidentally" looked at him, he looked me straight in the eyes and mouthed (as in to say something without sound, as in voiceless) the words "are you ok?". I pretended that I didn't see and looked straight ahead. But then I noticed him still "catching my sight" so I once again looked at him and still he mouthed the words "are you ok?" and I still snobbed him again. [haha~]
Two subjects passed then it was out break time. I headed to the door along with my bestfriend to buy water at the canteen. As I was about to open the door .. "x" was there closing the door. As if trying to not let us pass. Then he asked me "What did I do wrong? I really don't remember doing anything wrong" I answered "It's just you. Ughh~" I tried to open the door again. But he closed it again and he told me "Tell me! Please, I want to know" . I just snobbed him again. [EFF! 4th time today .. HAHAHA!] So me and my bestfriend continued to the canteen and brought water.
When I got to the classroom I was just standing next my bestfriend's table. He asked me "What is it that I have done??".Then I hear "x" tell her something [I can't recall] that made me a bit jealous .. again~ Then I whispered something to my bestfriend's ears I said "omg~ he's doing it again~", my bestfriend then told me with her huge puppy eyes "aw~ Sorry!" I then nodded as if to say 'it's ok'. Then I take little glances with "x" he was killing me with his "stares". DAMN~ Then after those glances .. He seemed down. And of course I felt guilty. So I called my 'adviser' and asked him what I should tell "x". He told me to tell him the real reason. Except the part about me having a crush on him. So I swallowed hard. REALLY REALLY HARD. And sat near him.
We talked about why he seemed kinda down and he told me that he was feeling really sad because of me. [DAMN.IT! Guilt! Guilt! Guilt! It's like a sharp dagger passing through my chest! OUCHHHHHH~] So yeah .. I told him that I was feeling kinda jealous because he seemed to pay more attention to my other two bestfriends. Then we talked about this and that. Then suddenly the words "I have a crush on you" slipped through my tongue!! OMYGADDD! UGHHHH~ Then I was so damn speechless after that! Before I left his side I told him "sorry again". Then he said "I'm sorry too" those words coming from him was so sharp! It kinda went through me! So I told him "Don't say that! It makes me more guilty!" he replied, "But if I didn't say those words then I will be the one who will feel guilty.". I said "ughh~ STOP IT!" he said "ok~ Sorry." , I said "There you go again!", he replied "Just kidding! I'll stop~ haha!".
I then left the room and I saw my bestfriend talking to her other bestfriends. Her bestfriends were like paparazzis! They were like all over me asking me questions like "How did it go?", "What happened?", "What did you talk about?". I just told them that I need to talk to my 'adviser'. So I went to my 'adviser' and told him what just happened. DAMN! He seemed more disappointed than me~ HAHA~ I was just standing there watching him sing while he was sitting. HAHAHAHA~ Then I told him that what I said was a very huge mistake. And he told me "YOU BET IT IS! WHY DID YOU TELL HIM?!". I was like a kid being scolded by my father. He was really tensed. Then I just told him "Go inside your classroom now. And let me have a little peace. And remember to drink water!!" So we both went into our classrooms. I sat quietly through the whole Effing day. I felt so damn concious about what I said to "x".
Then dismissal came. I've never felt happier! LOLL~ My other bestfriend from another classroom was waiting outside my classroom. So I wallked with her downstairs. While walking down the stairs I see "x" then he saw me too and told me "Oh~ Your bag seems heavy. Let me carry it for you." .. I said "HAHA! No way~" but deep down inside of me I was thinking "WTF?! WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME LIKE THIS?!" . Then he said "Come on~ I'm the one offering. Let me carry it for you." I said "Knock it off! No way~ Haha!", then he said "Ok fine~" I then replied "Ok then! Carry it for me please....Haha! Just kidding!"
Then we waited for "x" 's seatmate [as you recall .. she is also my bestfriend] Then we all went down together.
UGHHHH~ Why is he doing this to me?! DAMN IT!! I SERIOUSLY DO NOT WANT!!
That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

iHateYou!

ughh~
iHateYou so damn much!!
"x" .. I so eff-ing hate you! UGHHH~
Why do you have to be charismatic?! Why are you like that?? UGHH~
Once again, "x" is my classmate who is one of my close guy friends. Since I consider him as my friend I have to stop liking him or else it will ruin the friendship. And I definitely do not want that to happen.
7:30 am to 12:30 pm went so damn awesome. But when the clock striked 12:45 pm .. My mood dropped dramatically. I heard him tell my bestfriend "OMG! You're my 'daughter'?? What the fuck! How am I supposed to court you if you're my daughter?! That's just gross!" EFF! I don't know why I felt 'jealousy' .. But I just did! UGHH~
Then that bestfriend of mine told me to come sit with her. Then I just looked and felt really, really sad. Of course she asked me why I looked that way. I just told her that I just felt sad.
The teacher came in but I still texted Sarah O. Consehal when the teacher's back was facing us.
My sadness continued until the dismissal of classes. We placed out bags at our usual place. I didn't see "x" but I still felt lousy.
My close friends all noticed me being sad. I didn't tell any of them until the new girl who was also my close friend asked me. I whispered in her ears that I was a little jealous of how "x" treated my two bestfriends. He always talked to them first. He would only talk to me if I was the one who started the conversation. It really irritates me~ UGHH~
My driver was calling me so I got my bag and said goodbye to my friends. I couldn't resist him so I talked to him and had a small conversation. It went a little like this ..

Me : *I poked his side a bit* Why do you seem sad?
"x" : I'm sad because you are sad.
Me : I'm sad because of you!
"x" : Me? Why? I didn't remember doing anything wrong to you.
Me : UGHH~ *hits him carefully and slowly*
"x" : Oh~ Why??
Me : It's you! UGHH~ *hits him again*
"x" : What is it that I did wrong?? I seriously don't remember doing anything wrong.
Me : UGHH~ It's you! Hezekiah knows! *faces Hezekiah's direction* You know the reason right Hez?
Hez : YESS~ I know!
"x" : What is it??
Me : I have to go now. Byee~

After that conversation I bid my farewell to my friends that I can see. When I got in the car I recieved a text. And it was from "x"!! OMG! He's is not making my life any easier. DAMN IT!


On the other hand.. I saw Sarah O. Consehal again at POIS. She was wearing an abaya .. Maybe she doesn't have her own uniform yet. I saw her inside their red car. Sitting in the passenger's seat. She looked whiter than usual. Unlike me, I look damn darker! LOLL~

That's it for now~

~Heechul's Baby~

I almost didn't make it~

I almost killed myself~
I always wear my ring. I always did. I only left it one time when I had my a so-called 'mission'. I left it intentionally that day.
But today I left it .. F*CK! I only noticed the ring wasn't on my finger when the car stopped in front of the school's gate. EFF!
I really, really felt guilty so I texted Sarah O. Consehal because she was the one who gave me the ring. I told her that I forgot my ring, then I said 'Sorry'. We had a lot of free time. I still felt guilty so I called her during our break. It's a good thing that my phone didn't die during our conversation. I kept saying 'sorry' to her and she kept saying 'it's ok'. EFF~ She kept saying 'it's ok' but it made me want to cry. I really really REALLY felt guilty. So we ended the conversation because maybe she was eating.
So the school-day ended and I went home.
When I got home I immediately looked for my ring in the bathroom because that was the last place I remeber I took it off. When I got there .. FUCKK! IT WASN'T THERE! FUCKSHIT!
So I went to my room and switched on the laptop. But suddenly I felt the urge to look to my right. So I did~ AND I SAW MY RING!! YESS! I almost didn't make it~ Damn I was so worried~ That was a close one~
That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

Mixed~

omygad~
My day started out like any other days .. It started really mysterious and unknown. At first, my day starts really boring.
During my first subject I became really sad. Why? Because that was the time that I realized that today was July 4 meaning tomorrow is July 5. The day Kangin (of Super Junior) leaves for the Army~ I will miss him even if I became an ELF during the time he wasn't performing anymore. Every single ELF all over the world will miss him deeply.When it came to the middle of the day .. I became really, really irritated~ It was because of "x". UGHHH~ I really, really, really want to erase my 'feelings' for him. But it just can't be done! F*CK!
By the end of the day, the aura went from irritated to happy. "x" went home early. So I was safe from any 'distractions' .. Haha~ .. When my driver called me to go outside the gate, I felt someone "poke" the left side of my body. And as I looked to see who it was .. I saw "x" damn it! Then when I looked at him he smiled! UGHH! He's not making my life any easier~ Haha!
Everytime I step into our house my mood changes to frustration every single time! Whether I am happy, sad, inlove etc. when I step into our house it instantly changes to frustration. I don't know why .. Maybe I'm just weird like that .. Haha!
So there. I waited for a few hours for my bestfriend to go online.
We chatted *as usual*. We had a few dead time but it's ok.
We had :
[♥] happy moments
[♥] possessive moments *I told her what I would do to guys if they told rumors 'bouts her*
[♥] SuJu moments *this is always our topic*
[♥] forcing moments *she is forcing me to Ryeowook! haha .. I personally don't like Ryeowook. Maybe it's because of his voice? iDunno. LOLL*
[♥] and of course sad moments.
I told her "Kahit na mas bata ka ng isang taon saken .. Mama paren kita. At ayokong magbago yun."
translation? : "Even if you're younger by one year .. You are always my Mama. And I don't want that to change."
T'was so sad. I haven't seen her in over a month now. I miss her presence~
That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~

That was fun~

whoo~
Today's Saturday,the third of July 2010.
I had a fun day at school today~
Let's begin the tour, shall we?
◘ First Subject : Chemistry
Nothing great happened .. And nothing fun happened either~ The teacher was just explaining about Electrons, Atoms, Elements and stuff~ booring~
◘ Next Subject : Health
We discussed about Health *duh* and we had a quiz right after that .. It's just a routine so we're kinda used to it.
◘ Next Subject : Social Studies
We had a quiz .. And I failed it~ Ughh~ I swear .. if I fail again on Social Studies .. Then I would kill myself! Damn it! SS is so easy but I can't believe I'm failing it~
◘ Break~
I have had it! I told my friend Dianne E. Granadino about my **"feelings" about him or as I call him "x". I was so irritated that I hit the wall a couple of times.
◘ Next Subject : Geometry
The usual .. We studied about Volume today~ Boring but fun~ Hahaha~ It was boring because the atmosphere was so quiet but fun because I actually love Mathematics~ Haha~ Yup .. I L♥VE Math~ Everytime the teacher's back was turned, me and one of my bestfriends Chrysler G. Maltezo threw paper notes at each other. We wrote about my problem with "x". And later on our conversation, I told her the reality .. Hahaha~
◘ Next Subject : Trigonometry
Eff! We had a quiz at Trigo~ But the teacher was nice .. So she turned the quiz into an assignment~ Haha~ So nice .. I want to be like that when I grow old too~ LOLL~
◘ Last Subject : English
English is always fun~
Funny teacher + Funnier classmates + my shallow happiness = Uber happy me! LOLL~ We did reporting today. I was one of the members of the second group. The first group and our group , to be honest had no impact whatsoever. It was the third and fourth group that made the room more lively.
◘ Dismissal
OMG! Our new sister Jan Mikka .. *originally Jan Mikko [sorry if the spelling in srong ; btw .. we just like to call her sister .. he's not gay~]* confessed her feelings to Jessa L. Yalung! OMYGAD! I'm so happy! But I wonder if Jessa would accept his humble plea~ *i really wish she would~ haha!*
Then I got to spend time with "x" and Hezekiah R. Zaraspe~ Yes .. He's a guy~
Then .. Hez, "x", Chrysler and I laughed for a good 5 minutes before my driver called me.

In general, it was a really fun day~

**"x" is my classmate. I have a little crush going on with him. But since last Wednesday we became really close. I believe that friends are not suppposed to have a crush on friends because it might ruin the friendship. I am trying really hard to erase the so-called crush I have on him. But it just can't be done! I want it to be gone! Like .. right now~ hahaha~

That's it for now~

~Heechul's Baby~

Irritating .. But it all worked out in the end~

Eff~
I was on our rooftop the whole night. It is around 1:20 AM now and I went to our rooftop around 9:30. So I was minding my own business, waiting for food, then suddenly I see this guy who is around 5'10'' to 6' tall and he was around 40 - 45 years old. Once again , since I had no interest in this guy , I minded my own business.
The food was ready, so I grabbed some and sat next to my Mother. In front of me was the British guy. At first it was ok .. Since he was a guest he can sit wherever he wanted. He was having a conversation with my Mother, and some of the other guests. Like I said, I was minding my own business then I saw him looking at me! eff!
At first it was fine .. Maybe he was just , you know .. looking around. But it wasn't like that~ I caught him a heck lot of times "glancing" at me~ I was kinda irritated~
I was so irritated that I had to tell someone .. So I texted Sarah O. Consehal and told her that I feel really awkward and irritated~ Then she told me that maybe he likes me. I replied that I detest the idea~ hahaha~ It was a good thing he left early. If he didn't, who knows what I could have done to him . LOLL~
But the feeling was gone when another guy walks onto the rooftop .. And that guy looks a lot like Eunhyuk of Super Junior! DAMN~
But in general, I had a fun night~
That's all~

~Heechul's Baby~

Happy Birthday papa.Leeteuk!!

awww~
It's July 1 right now~ Wheee~
It means it's Park Jung Su / Eeteuk / Leeteuk / papa.Leeteuk's birthday!
He's now 27 years old internationally . But 28 in Korean age.
I don't get why it adds one year to their international age , but I just saw this fact on facebook from Sarah O. Consehal .. Hahaha ..
[i know what you're thinking .. I have no originality .. so sue me! I don't care~]
that's it~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY papa.LEETEUK!
MORE BIRTHDAYS TO COME!
SARANGHAE~

~Heechul's Baby~

*yes .. I changed it from ~Sungminnie's Miinah~ to ~Heechul's Baby~ .. I'm gonna change it every month to you know .. keep it fresh .. hahaha :))=))*

Excrutiating pain~

omygad~
Both of my shoulders are in so much pain~ :((
It started yesterday when we did push-ups for P.E class .. And now, my shoulder pains are hindering every single movement I make with my arms.
I can't reach something backwards ; raise my arms upwards or sidewards ; I can't fix my hair quickly ; I can't even use the toilet without hurting myself first.
I can't say I will hate P.E class for the rest of the year. In fact P.E is my current 3rd favorite subject because it's the only subject when I can have a useful conversation with my crush who haves a girlfriend.
Although, this pain is too much~ :|
That's it~ :|

~Sungminnie's Miinah~