OMG! WHYY?! ~

DAMN.IT!
I blogged yesterday that "x" texted me. And he told me that he would talk to me.
Damn~ I always told myself "he won't talk to me" over and over and over again in my head! I really didn't want to talk to him. 'Coz it might develop my crush for him~ DO.NOT.ABSOLUTELY.WANT!!
So I went to school. [duhh~ I won't be absent just for him] And still felt a bit jealous so I looked like I have a heavy heavy weight on my shoulders.
I went to sit over at my bestfriend's table. Yes, I sat on her table. It would be kinda rude if I would get her off her seat just for me to sit right? [LOLL~]
My bestfriend's seat was at the very front of the class. Behind her was my other bestfriend and "x" was sitting next to her. "x" kept asking me "are you ok?" then I was all snobby. [HAHAHA~] Then the teacher came in.
When I was in my original seat my close friend who was the new student asked me if I was ok. I said yes then we had our lesson. When the teacher looked over at "x" 's side of the room because of a certain chart, I saw him kinda "catching my sight" then when I "accidentally" looked at him, he looked me straight in the eyes and mouthed (as in to say something without sound, as in voiceless) the words "are you ok?". I pretended that I didn't see and looked straight ahead. But then I noticed him still "catching my sight" so I once again looked at him and still he mouthed the words "are you ok?" and I still snobbed him again. [haha~]
Two subjects passed then it was out break time. I headed to the door along with my bestfriend to buy water at the canteen. As I was about to open the door .. "x" was there closing the door. As if trying to not let us pass. Then he asked me "What did I do wrong? I really don't remember doing anything wrong" I answered "It's just you. Ughh~" I tried to open the door again. But he closed it again and he told me "Tell me! Please, I want to know" . I just snobbed him again. [EFF! 4th time today .. HAHAHA!] So me and my bestfriend continued to the canteen and brought water.
When I got to the classroom I was just standing next my bestfriend's table. He asked me "What is it that I have done??".Then I hear "x" tell her something [I can't recall] that made me a bit jealous .. again~ Then I whispered something to my bestfriend's ears I said "omg~ he's doing it again~", my bestfriend then told me with her huge puppy eyes "aw~ Sorry!" I then nodded as if to say 'it's ok'. Then I take little glances with "x" he was killing me with his "stares". DAMN~ Then after those glances .. He seemed down. And of course I felt guilty. So I called my 'adviser' and asked him what I should tell "x". He told me to tell him the real reason. Except the part about me having a crush on him. So I swallowed hard. REALLY REALLY HARD. And sat near him.
We talked about why he seemed kinda down and he told me that he was feeling really sad because of me. [DAMN.IT! Guilt! Guilt! Guilt! It's like a sharp dagger passing through my chest! OUCHHHHHH~] So yeah .. I told him that I was feeling kinda jealous because he seemed to pay more attention to my other two bestfriends. Then we talked about this and that. Then suddenly the words "I have a crush on you" slipped through my tongue!! OMYGADDD! UGHHHH~ Then I was so damn speechless after that! Before I left his side I told him "sorry again". Then he said "I'm sorry too" those words coming from him was so sharp! It kinda went through me! So I told him "Don't say that! It makes me more guilty!" he replied, "But if I didn't say those words then I will be the one who will feel guilty.". I said "ughh~ STOP IT!" he said "ok~ Sorry." , I said "There you go again!", he replied "Just kidding! I'll stop~ haha!".
I then left the room and I saw my bestfriend talking to her other bestfriends. Her bestfriends were like paparazzis! They were like all over me asking me questions like "How did it go?", "What happened?", "What did you talk about?". I just told them that I need to talk to my 'adviser'. So I went to my 'adviser' and told him what just happened. DAMN! He seemed more disappointed than me~ HAHA~ I was just standing there watching him sing while he was sitting. HAHAHAHA~ Then I told him that what I said was a very huge mistake. And he told me "YOU BET IT IS! WHY DID YOU TELL HIM?!". I was like a kid being scolded by my father. He was really tensed. Then I just told him "Go inside your classroom now. And let me have a little peace. And remember to drink water!!" So we both went into our classrooms. I sat quietly through the whole Effing day. I felt so damn concious about what I said to "x".
Then dismissal came. I've never felt happier! LOLL~ My other bestfriend from another classroom was waiting outside my classroom. So I wallked with her downstairs. While walking down the stairs I see "x" then he saw me too and told me "Oh~ Your bag seems heavy. Let me carry it for you." .. I said "HAHA! No way~" but deep down inside of me I was thinking "WTF?! WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME LIKE THIS?!" . Then he said "Come on~ I'm the one offering. Let me carry it for you." I said "Knock it off! No way~ Haha!", then he said "Ok fine~" I then replied "Ok then! Carry it for me please....Haha! Just kidding!"
Then we waited for "x" 's seatmate [as you recall .. she is also my bestfriend] Then we all went down together.
UGHHHH~ Why is he doing this to me?! DAMN IT!! I SERIOUSLY DO NOT WANT!!
That's it~

~Heechul's Baby~